Crazies: Dead Squirrel Beer + 100's of Ships

Okay, today seems to have been a day at the nut house as far as reading news goes.

Today's top stories for me were Iran who declared they have 100 vessels for every US ship that threatens them and BrewDog who got in to the news by just being odd enough.

For Iran, the article itself is brief but mentions that an Iranian General Saffari was quoted in the weekly magazine Panjereh that "... U.S. warships are morsels for Iran to target." and that they have a 100 vessels for every opposing one. Maybe if we for the sake of argument allow only one U.S. carrier strike group, Iran should still have 600 - 700 ships at the ready. To get that count I assume Gen. Saffari believes a floating bucket can oppose a guided missile destroyer. Insane, but apparently newsworthy to AP.

What isn't newsworthy is BrewDog who made a very limited, very expensive patch of 55% proof beer, sold inside a dead animal. You can see what I mean with it in the video below. This "offbeat" article brought to you by AFP through Yahoo.

Endangered Monkey Smuggling

Would you wear 12 of those in a harness on your chest if you had to smuggle them through airport security?

Roberto Gabrera, of Mexico, tried. And even if the Titi (yes, really) monkey is small it still made his shirt bulge enough for the guards to inspect and catch him. The monkey is endangered, but unfortunately the news post from AP doesn't say how much they go for. Apparently Roberto felt bad enough for his crimes and tried to transport them as humanely as possible - he was quoted he hid them under his shirt instead of inside a suitcase "so the x-rays wouldn't hurt them." Less surprisingly, a couple of the monkeys were already dead.

Way to go Robert.

Mammoth Penis Bad

That right there, in case you are wondering, is what passes for news in Savo. There's a housing fair coming up, and the playground was meant to have a centerpiece attraction, namely a mammoth statue. It was made by a Finnish artist Kimmo Takarautio and has been displayed in several cities without incident.

That changed when project manager Pasi Hulkkonen found out about the penis which comes out when someone pulls the mammoth's tail. He quickly issued an ultimatum to change the statue or have it carted out. The statue is owned by Mammuttihirsi "Mammothlog" loosely translated, who are well aware of the feature.

This of course is all stupid junk. Savon Sanomat actually has three articles on the mammoth, the other two even less worthwhile. I wouldn't have noticed it, but it made it to one of our two main tabloids, who referenced the original. Another matter is how useless it is to get offended by the statue or demand it changed, but I won't labor that point.

Links go to:

Savon Sanomat article

Video page of the same

Previous Article on the statue

Sweep Won't Be Published in Finland

Sweep (or you might know it as Wicca,) a series starting with "Book of Shadows" won't be published in Finland. According to the published, the cancellation (not rejection, mind you) happened because they will not in the future publish books regarding politics or religion aimed at young readers.

Especially nothing to do with it has the fact that a member of our Christian-Democratic Party, Piia Rauhala, filed a question to the parliament and a request of investigation with the police. According to Rauhala the books are unsuitable to young readers AND give a positive image of the Wiccan religion.

I'm sorry, but what the hell? Every time someone says something negative about Muslims it's either punishable, wrong or at least newsworthy, but now you can't even publish books that give a positive image of religions.

How does this make sense? Where's the standard? If you can give a positive image of Christianity in a book, and there are dozens of Christian bookshops here, why not Wiccans? I see the point in guaranteeing someone won't be prosecuted for their religion or given leeway at practicing their beliefs, but you shouldn't be allowed to proactively use it to block other writings except which you find personally pleasant.

Reported by Helsingin Sanomat as referenced by YLE:
http://yle.fi/uutiset/kulttuuri/2010/06/wicca-nuortenkirjasarjaa_ei_sittenkaan_julkaista_suomessa_1744663.html?origin=rss

How Not to Understand The Large Hadron Collider

In case I'm not seriously missing a joke, people are allowed to say anything about the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) since nobody really has a deep understanding on the subject; including blaming mistakes and coincidences on nature itself.

Case in point? Time reports that two researchers have put forth papers stating that basically a result of an experiment is destined to fail - any experiment that would cause a Higgs boson to be captured will be prevented. From the future.

Yes, Niels Bohr and Masao Ninomiya think that the boson from the experiment would cause a ripple in the future basically preventing it's creation. It's just slightly crazy at this point, but then they get to the good stuff. Apparently a cooling system failed because a bird dropped a piece of bread on an electrical station and caused a power loss - and this was caused by the boson, abhorrent to nature, acting from the future.

That, or it's just a bird and the experiments have failed since the technology is complex and fragile. Or there might be a mistake in some underlying assumption and they just won't be able to prove the Higgs boson. It's just that those two researchers think it's not their fault, it's the universe itself.

You can find the Time writeup linked below. Luckily they didn't just report the crazies, they have a decent write-up of the collider and why perhaps the theory is so zany.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/20091111/wl_time/08599193737000

Offended by Anything

Some people are offended by almost anything it seems, up to and including baby toy dolls wearing wedding gowns. Actually, it's not even suggestive photography or a strange lewd website. There is now a Finnish Facebook group boycotting the Baby Born toys as their lineup up accessories includes a kit of wedding gear.

Yes, the little boy doll can have a tuxedo, the little girl baby can have a wedding gown and there are rings for both with a little bouquet - and this someone thinks is terrible.

There are more than a hundred people who have joined the group.

Apparently (according to the YLE news post) the idea is that the bridal gown can instill an idea that babies are capable of grown-up behavior and this can be linked to pedophilia.

There is only one point I would like to make: Who the hell is sexually attracted to babies?

Why make threats up? No, it's not a valid counter argument to say better safe than sorry, with that logic we would be boycotting all toys. There hasn't been a case of sexual molestation of an infant anywhere near here.

The only even remotely related incident was in Africa where people thought intercourse with a virgin could cure AIDS and proceeded to rape younger and younger girls to ensure virginity. Actually, I don't even think the boycotters thought that far, they are just offended because they hadn't been offended for two minutes.

The report is bought to you by YLE here (nameless author):
http://yle.fi/alueet/lahti/2009/11/morsiuspukuinen_vauvanukkepari_raivostuttaa_aiteja_1133948.html?origin=rss

If you wish to do a facebook search, the full name of the group is "BBB - Boikotoi baby bornia!" feel free to read how people think this is destroying something beautiful and innocent for money.

Demon in a Church, Really Now?

Now I realize as someone believes in god and various spirits, that they must by association also believe in devils and other such things. The King of All Witches also does. Look, I know I'm not making much sense, but maybe you should read a little from the link before continuing.

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/cn_news_home/DisplayArticle.asp?ID=454587

It's a story of how someone claims to have summoned a demon inside a Catholic church, a demon which may drive people to depression and even suicide. The local clergy is not even going to try and exorcise the spirit, but they may call the police the cultist comes back.

The police say it's not a crime unless the summoning is performed when someone is in the church and someone is disturbed by it. So the police will do nothing, the priests will do nothing and it's still good enough for Cambridge News.

Raymond Brown is the one who reported this so called piece of news. What drivel.

Can I Get a Why

So, cheery news from Australia. According to an AP news post an Australian woman was convicted of murder for starving to death her 7-year old daughter. The husband got manslaughter and that's about all the piece has to tell us.

Oops. I don't mean every article should be full of background information, but a reason would be nice. The only detail added is that they can't report their names due to legal reasons. Convenient for the reporter for sure.

Just for the "That's Terrible!" -factor they report the girl's weight was 9kg at death. That's all.

If you want to see how sparse the article is go here
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091002/ap_on_re_as/as_australia_starvation_death

I bought this up just for the sheer What The Hell -factor of the article and the missing why. Let's hope we won't have too many of these coming up. Oh, and the reporter's name is omitted so I can't blame him specifically.